Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Sophie's Baptism

Since sweet Sophie had to have surgery before I could have her baptized/christened we had one of the chaplains from Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital baptize her. I have worked with Raye Nell Dyer for years and think the world of her so I asked her to baptize Sophie before her surgery. My mom, “Aunt” Janet, Blake (Sophie’s Godfather), Michelle (Blake’s wife), David (Blake’s son), Adam, and I were all present. My sister (Sophie’s Godmother)had to be at a doctor’s appointment so she was there with us in spirit. My dad was at my house taking care of Zoe, so he was there in spirit as well. Sophie cried through the whole thing because she was starving…but once Raye Nell finished the prayer she was quiet, at peace before her surgery…but only briefly…

ADDENDUM: January 11, 2011
As I am moving all these old posts to my new blog (the free one) I have been reflecting on the early days with Sophie and how very hard it was. I remember when we were preparing for Sophie's surgery I just had this horrible nagging sense of impending doom re: her surgery. I could not figure out what was bothering me so much. I just kept praying that I would figure something out so that I could send her into surgery with positive thoughts and hope instead of the dread that was plaguing me. I am normally a very positive person, but I just couldn't shake this. 

One morning while we were staying with my parents I woke up and realized that what was bothering me was the fact that I had not had a chance to have Sophie baptized and that I truly felt like I was sending her into the OR unprepared. I knew she was God's child, I just wanted to make sure she knew. I realized that I had this horrible fear that she would not make it out of the OR and  I knew I would never forgive myself if something terrible happened and she wasn't baptized. 

I know that many people believe that unbaptized babies have a direct admit to Heaven, but my Catholic upbringing made me wonder...would she be stuck in Limbo forever? I still don't know what I truly believe. I cannot imagine that an unbaptized baby would not be admitted to Heaven, I almost cannot believe this and do what I do. But for my own child, I could not risk being wrong. When faced with hopeless situations at work, I always ask parents if they would like their child to be baptized. I have baptized countless babies. I guess it just makes sense I would need this assurance for my own. 

At the time I felt badly that her Baptism was so informal (in the consult room outside of the ORs). I felt bad that her Baptism wasn't a bigger celebration. In retrospect I realize how very special this Baptism really was and I wouldn't have it any other way. Well...maybe not having Sophie be NPO would have made HER happier, but it was special screaming and all.

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