Well...time to exhale, he's officially unemployed.
I am not going to pretend that I know how he feels, I'm not even sure how I feel. All I know is that I'm sick of being an adult. This isn't the first time Adam has been working for a company that shut down. The first time I was 20 weeks pregnant with Sophie. However, we REALLY saw that one coming and God presented Adam with this current job, which at the time was exactly what we needed. Over the past 3 1/2 years Adam has worked for two wonderful people who have treated him like family. I know closing down this company is even harder for them than it will be for us. I'm not questioning their decision, nor am I upset with them in anyway. They have treated Adam well and I am so grateful for the years they gave him, and the time he has had with Sophie.
But now...it's time for that faith. The faith that everything happens for a reason, that God has a plan for Adam and for me, that every bad experience brings something better...I just need to keep the faith (as my dad would say).
Adam didn't know how to tell me he was out of job. I can't imagine why he was nervous. I'm SOOO calm, especially in a financial crisis. As he was telling me, all the feeling left my arms and legs and I just felt dizzy. He was talking and talking about the situation and he was so upbeat I kept waiting for the punchline. He tends to tell a very long, slow story in general, but I really thought there might be a happy ending. Finally I interrupted him and said..."does this story end well?" and he said "not really."
It ends with unemployment...2 days before his 40th birthday and our birthday trip to Vancouver.
But is it good? Does this end with Adam being forced to explore other options that utilize his unique talents and lead him to a challenging and rewarding job? Is this the drop kick he needs to make a change? Is this God saying...okay Adam it's time to get out there and find your niche, it's time to use the talents I gave you?
My husband is very talented. He is an amazing manager and is also very technically minded. He can teach himself anything. He is also extremely handy. He knows a little bit about everything and can master just about anything he puts his mind to. He just needs to catch a break.
One of the things that really attracted me to Adam was his generosity. He's been known to pay for a friend's flight physical because he was broke and couldn't do it otherwise...even when Adam was pinching pennies himself. He once allowed someone to live in his house for beer (Adam rarely drinks beer). When a close friend of his was laid off, he paid for his health insurance for 6 months because he had high blood pressure and Adam was afraid he would go off his medicine if he didn't have insurance. Adam only stopped paying for it when he had to take a major pay cut and we really couldn't afford it anymore. Adam is just plain good, and kind, and smart. At what point will things just work out for him?
I guess that's where the faith thing comes in...
God is faithful, and will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out, so that you may endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13).
I know my God is faithful. I can see the lessons written all over this situation. I feel peaceful that things truly will be okay one minute...and the next I'm worried sick (quite literally). I read a quote somewhere that said that worrying only takes you further from God. But the question remains...how do I strengthen my faith enough to stop worrying?
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34)
Well God...sometimes that's easier said than done...but I'm working on it...really I am.
On the plus side, it looks like there is no risk of breaking a leg on the ski slopes at Whistler, we won't be spending any money on that. However, the rest of the trip is non refundable so we are going anyway...maybe that was part of the Greater Plan.
I do realize how much we have to be grateful for and I don't want to sound like a whiner...I know how much worse this really could be and I know there are many people out there going through a whole lot more than we are, but isn't it true that your own worries are always the worst worries in your world?
But for now I'm keeping the faith...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
|I mean, if nothing else maybe he could model baby clothes?|